Five essential steps to midlife career change as a working mum
What’s the difference between putting up with a situation and deciding you’ve had enough? How do you go from one to the other? In this blog I share how that happened for me, and the five essential steps to navigating your midlife career change as a working mum.
My ‘I’m too old for this shit’ moment
Before we get to that moment, a bit of backstory. I’d worked in the NHS for over 25 years, in various HR roles. As you can imagine, working in the NHS during the covid lockdowns was a crisis situation. In the first lockdown, especially, it was terrifying for frontline staff. They were sleeping at the hospital, away from families. All non-business critical action, like the Learning and Development team I was part of, took place from home. And, for me, this was a lightbulb moment. It paved the way for what was to come.
The usual cycles of performance and delivery, and rounds of meetings were all on hold. Instead, in my OD team, we went all in on supporting the frontline staff with whatever we could. We had free rein to create support in response to what people needed. It felt meaningful, and valuable. I saw what was possible when we stopped doing things the way we’d always done them, and focussed on what was in front of us. It was the clinical and support staff on the front line making the real difference, but it felt so good to be supporting them in ways that really helped.
Fast-forward a couple of years and things went back to a sort of normal. The structures of management, performance and outcomes were all back. I was in a secondment role, having a nightmare of a time. The work was challenging - but not in that meaningful way I’d seen back in 2020. This time it felt like wading through treacle. And it wasn’t a respectful place to be. Deadlines were unrealistic, communication was downright rude, and my morale was on the floor.
It was a Tuesday afternoon. I was in yet another virtual meeting. The person on the other end of my screen was upset. More than upset, head in hands upset. About some figures. Not people - figures. And I was getting the blame.
I sat there, during the call, sort of numb. I let it all wash over me. And then, as I closed the laptop lid, there it was, clear as day:
‘I’m too old for this shit.’
That was the moment. I was 45. I wasn’t prepared to be shouted at anymore. Not about numbers. Not about anything!
I’d already trained as a coach and was using coaching tools within my NHS role. Just that same week I’d been in a coaching session with someone about to retire, helping them figure out what next. And it got me thinking, ‘Do I really want to be here when I retire?’
I didn’t. And so, there and then, I decided to quit. (How I made sure this was a safe enough move financially is a whole other blog - coming soon!).
Have you had your ‘I’m too old for this shit’ moment yet?
Your story won’t look like mine, of course. You’ll have your own career, your own stresses, your own dreams about how you want to spend the next 15-20 working years of your life. Maybe you’re plodding along, making do, putting up with the shit for the sake of the children, or the mortgage. It’s not great, but what else is there?
Or maybe you’ve had your moment too. You’re not doing it anymore. You want out. But what next?
Contemplating a midlife career change? Do these five things:
Trust there’s better out there for you
The work I did during the covid lockdowns was a massive eye-opener for me. It helped me see that I could do work that mattered, that felt creative, that had an impact on people. If you’re contemplating a change, you have to believe that better is possible. It is, I promise. Think back to when you last felt fulfilled at work. You deserve that feeling all the time.
Recognise your value
I knew I had skills, strengths and experience that could help people. I knew that my worth wasn’t just in knowing my way around the inner-workings of NHS HR business. It was about what I brought, as a person. Change is scary, you need a dose of courage. Connecting with what it is you bring to your ideal work is the fuel to keep you going.
Have your financial safety net in place
A boring job is one thing, homelessness is another. I’m not advocating for anyone to take terrifying financial risks. But if you want things to change, you need to make some changes. And sometimes that means a temporary drop in income, if you need to retrain, build up a business, or take a more junior role in a new industry.
Get creative in what you can do to give yourself the room you need to jump. Think about whether you can save for the next six months, to buy yourself a financial buffer. Are there other ways you can bring in money temporarily, to give yourself the freedom to move? There’s a full guide on this coming soon, watch out for it on the blog.
Get the support you need
Midlife career change can feel like venturing into the wilderness. Maybe the last time you spoke to a careers adviser was at school, when you filled in a questionnaire and got matched with an ideal career as a brewer, or librarian? Things have moved on quite a lot since then, and so have you! Working with a career coach who specialises in midlife career change (like me!) is the best way of understanding what you want, and how to get it.
Take the action
As I say, nothing changes if nothing changes. Reading this blog is a start, but do you want it to be another six months before you do anything else? No! The good news is, you can start today. Don’t start looking out there for new jobs. Start with you first. What is it you loved about your work, in better times? Or when was the last time you felt like you were on fire (in a good way!)? It’s so important to understand yourself before you do anything else.
Ready to get started?
Career coaching saves you time and money. Because when you have help pinpointing what you want, what you need, and what the world needs from you, all sorts of possibilities open up. And that’s when the magic happens.
Whether you just want some help setting off on your career-change adventure, or you want someone to walk with you along the way, I’d love to help.
My Career Radiance Programme will get you back on track by helping you create the roadmap for how you want to live your life at home and at work.
If you’re curious about whether we’d be a good fit, I’d love to hear from you. Book your free chat today.
Rae is an experienced coach having worked with hundreds of women throughout her NHS career and more recently as Founder of Coaching Women to Shine. Rae is values driven and passionate about the work she does with her clients. Her vision is to help women feel aligned in work and in life by living their values.